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To overcome this:
• Agree, between mentor and mentee, what role the mentee wishes to play in the relationship.
• Agree that mentor and mentee will challenge each other around the role of difference, where
appropriate. So, for example, the mentor might question the mentee’s perception that their failure to
achieve a promotion is a result of bias (or vice versa).

Stereotypes and implicit bias
Even if at a rational, conscious level, we are diversity-aware and extend goodwill to people, whom we see as
different, at a subconscious level our instinctive responses may be very different. However, the good news is
the more we get to know peers from other backgrounds, the more positive our attitudes tend to become.
On the flip side of this, it is possible to be over-empathetic. Relationships have been known to fail because
the mentor tried too hard and empathy became sympathy, which was not conducive to a good mentoring
conversation.

How do you have diversity related mentoring conversations?
One of the main challenges in diversity related mentoring is how to get the conversation started. For many,
talking about diversity and inclusion can be an uncomfortable process as they are afraid that they may say
the wrong thing or that their experience doesn’t belong in the conversation.

Here are 3 ways to get those conversations started.
1. Define and think about how you each interpret the term diversity. This is a good way to get the
conversation going and to see what your individual perspectives are.
2. Discuss a news story – there are plenty to choose from daily, whether it is a gender pay gap story, a
Paralympic sporting success, a racial injustice or a story relating to the global struggle for LGBT equality.
3. Learn from each other’s experiences. Swap stories about how you each got to where you are, your
current challenges and your ambitions for the future, and any worries you have around the things that
could de-rail these ambitions.

Useful Ground Rules
1. Build agreements that allow mutual feedback about the impact of language and its potential to offend or
appear prejudiced.
2. Develop greater awareness of your own and other people’s reactions to body language, this can be an
important indicator of the impact you are having on another person.
3. Recognise and respond appropriately to slip ups you make that offends or is inappropriate. No matter
how much we want to bury or displace stereotypes, remnants can still surface from time to time.
4. It’s very easy to back off from saying what needs to be said for fear of giving offence If you do need to
give tough feedback ensure it is focused on specific behaviour or actions and doesn’t import broader
prejudices.

Mentees who are different from their mentors can find a mentoring relationship challenging at first.
Persevering with the relationships and getting to know each other personally can help diverse mentoring
relationships to flourish.

Join the Security Institute Mentoring Scheme today!
All Security Institute members have access to the Mentoring Platform which can be accessed through the
Members’ Only area of the website HERE: https://security-institute.org/members-area/

Acknowledgments
Much of the above is from Understanding Diversity Mentoring by David Clutterbuck for more information click here. https://www.
davidclutterbuckpartnership.com/wp-content/uploads/Diversity-book-sample-chapter.pdf

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